He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
