I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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