How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
