did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We talked him into tasing himself.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
