Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize