wrigley field is MILF paradise
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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