I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
