how can u be prego again
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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