I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
