i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
