I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
