She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize