The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
