I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
