she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
