I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
