i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
