That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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