I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
