he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
