I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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