Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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