i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
