do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
