Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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