in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
