still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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