dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
