There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
