I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Can you bring me the toilet please
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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