I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
