Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
