Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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