shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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