Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
handjob tips. give me some.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
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My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
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I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them