trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian