Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.