I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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