We won't sleep together?
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
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He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
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How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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