My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all