I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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