my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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