Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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