Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
