My friends, they love my intelligence
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
