Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
