so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize