this boner is exhausting
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
No subtext here. People are naked.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
