If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
