just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize