Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
