did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
