All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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