Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
