I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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