This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
