I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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