i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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