So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
