I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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