Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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