youre lurking in front of me
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
