Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
