Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
